Omaha’s Alberts interviews for DU Athletic Director job

The University of Nebraska Omaha Athletic Director, Trev Alberts, participated in the first round of interviews for the Denver AD job but has been cut from the second round of interviews in January.

However, Alberts impressed the panel with a number of answers. For example, in order to save on facility maintenance, Alberts explained that UNO sponsored Wednesday night lawnmower races at Caniglia field. “We gave out a $2.00 stuffed Maverick bull to the winner – and we laid off two groundskeepers.” In order to bridge the operations gap at Baxter Arena, Alberts spearheaded a move to add deep-fried Twinkies which have become a local favorite. “And we are selling Coke by the liter to kids under 12 if they join the Mighty Mavericks Kids Club.”

Alberts was said to be impressed with the facilities and stunned that the DU Athletic offices provided free coffee. As readers may remember, the high cost of K-Cups nearly brought down the UNO athletic department as expenses spiraled out of control at the Omaha campus.

When asked about the criteria he used to hire coaches, Alberts cited new hockey coach Mike Gabinet. “He looks like Buddy Holly – and our dog is named Peggy Sue”. He hired soccer coach Jason Mims because he “wouldn’t shut up until I said yes” and basketball head coach Derrin Hansen “reminds me of my dad”.

Gabinet 2
Hockey coaching hire inspired by Buddy Holly resemblance

When asked about intermission entertainment, Alberts suggested that DU needs to refresh their ‘tire roll’ spectacle. Mavs games feature pie eating contests and greased pig wrestling – until a 78-year-old participant from Grand Island, Nebraska recently slipped and fractured her ankle and hip tackling a pig. Luckily, EMT’s were present and rushed her to Creighton University Medical Center. No word yet on potential litigation. However, Alberts said they are trying to mollify the patient with a Grillers Feast shipment from Omaha Steaks.

Image result for elevated leg hospital
Marge Ship is said to be resting comfortably at a local hospital

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alberts’ UNO Mavs visit Magness Arena this weekend for a two-game set beginning Friday night.

2 thoughts on “Omaha’s Alberts interviews for DU Athletic Director job”

  1. Don’t do it!!! As a warning from Omaha to you we must insist this man never ruins another athletic department again.

  2. Don’t do it!!! As a warning from Omaha to you we must insist this man never ruins another athletic department again.

Leave a Reply