Category Archives: Satire

Top Ten Reasons Denver Hockey Shouldn’t Travel to the Springfield (MA.) Regional

We’ve seen this before. DU hockey fights all season long for a top-four seed and then, on a short week is directed to a distant time zone in a lower-seeded opponent’s backyard. This season’s Regional assignment for DU hockey could end up like 2015 Providence, 2010 Albany and 2002 Ann Arbor when higher-seeded DU got ‘rewarded’ with distant travel to the Eastern time zone to face a lower-seeded opponent playing near their campus. All this if #3 Denver is assigned to play #14 UMass-Amherst this Thursday. Continue reading Top Ten Reasons Denver Hockey Shouldn’t Travel to the Springfield (MA.) Regional

DU Counters UND’s Altitude Room, Simulates Grand Forks Game Conditions

This past year, the University of North Dakota hockey program constructed a 1,400-square-foot altitude chamber. According to the Grand Forks Herald, “UND’s staff will close the doors, turn up the altitude to 9,000 feet and allow the players to train at altitude — much like the U.S. Olympic teams do by putting their training facility in Colorado Springs.”

The move targets their primary conference rival, The University of Denver. Continue reading DU Counters UND’s Altitude Room, Simulates Grand Forks Game Conditions

Damien Goddard Receives Honorary Doctor of Humane Letters in Education

“I’m truly humbled by this honor,” said Damien Goddard, CEO of The Goddard Family of Companies. “This is surely a surprise to my former professors and classmates but sends a clear message to all – it is never too late!” Goddard told a packed winter recess crowd, gathered to celebrate what he proudly calls his ‘crowning achievement’. Continue reading Damien Goddard Receives Honorary Doctor of Humane Letters in Education

Jay Stickney Looks to Yale and What Might Have Been

This weekend marks an emotional moment of deep reflection for DU hockey broadcaster Jay Stickney. Yale hockey is coming to Denver and Stickney will be calling a game of what ‘might have been’ when Yale plays the Denver Pioneers. Stickney went to the University of Colorado, forsaking his self-described ‘safety school,’ Yale. Continue reading Jay Stickney Looks to Yale and What Might Have Been

Puck Swami’s Civil War Letter on Winning the Gold Pan

In the spirit of Capt. Andrew Luck, our own “Armchair General” Puck Swami has written a flowery “Civil War”-style letter to his wife about last weekend’s DU hockey sweep of rival Colorado College. We invite you to click and play “Ashokan Farewell’ as background music and read the letter aloud in the best Ken Burns-narrator voice you can muster. You can almost hear the strains of the Crimson-and-Gold fiddles playing in Denver’s Camp…

Wednesday, the Eighth Day of November, in the year of our Lord, 2023.

My Dearest Wife:

I am grateful to the Lord above for providing me this quill and paper with which to report to you, my beloved bride of long forbearance, that it has been four days since the smoke of battle has lifted from the November weekend scrap for the Gold Pan trophy. As you will read, the news is gratifying… Continue reading Puck Swami’s Civil War Letter on Winning the Gold Pan