After watching a few weeks of DU games in the NCHC “pod,” we’ve been subjected to hundreds of repetitive, small-city Grand Forks, North Dakota-based TV commercials. The reason for this is that Dakota-based Midco Sports Network is producing the NCHC.tv-wide production, fueled by money from North Dakota advertisers, where UND hockey is the state’s largest athletic attraction. To our more citified eyes and ears, there are seven of them that, in heavy rotation, have become proverbial nails on a chalkboard to our urban sensibilities…
Home of Economy (where your dollar buys moooooooooooooore):
“Honey, I am going to need my Carhartts,” the man says, getting into his snowplow-equipped pickup, then digging his teenage daughter’s car out with a shovel, and then crawling under the car with his trusty winch, after which he tows the car out of a prairie snowdrift with his truck. Only in the Dakotas, where “battling the elements is just part of the job.” Heroic, certainly. That said, many Pio fans worked hard enough in college so that we do not need to own any Carhartts, nor crawl under cars, through snowdrifts, with winches…
Woodland Resort on Devils Lake:
“2, 4, or 6-man ice fishing houses for rent.’ Nothing like sitting in a small hut over an ice hole on a below-zero frozen lake waiting for fish to bite. I’ve heard that ice fishing in huts was invented to accentuate day-drinking in the Upper Midwest, but seriously, isn’t it easier to day-drink in your own home…with less risk of hypothermia?
Northern AIR Family Fun Center:
For the latest in Nordic fun, the Northern Air Family Fun Center offers “axe throwing, with beer and wine available!” What could go wrong? At least the commercial says the “axe throwing arena” is “away from kids’ activities…” Oh my God!
MinnKota Windows:
Nothing says ‘Let’s sell some windows’ like a coffee table-dancing, poorly lip-synching Dakota country hipster with an unusual haircut, singing into his golf club, supposedly extolling the virtues of vinyl, as the source of better music and better windows. Hope sales are up in West Fargo, guys…
Krampade:
This old man goalie ultra-chugging his water is bound to make you squirmy, especially when he puts the Grand Forks-made Krampade powder in his bottle…We cramp-up just watching it! In Krampade’s defense, they did introduce two other commercials to the rotation by the end of the Pod, but this one will be forever stuck in our collective psyche.
PS Garage Doors:
Is there anything more exciting than visiting a brand new garage door showroom? Not in Grand Forks, apparently, “since 1974!” And only “one block from the (I-29) Interstate!” How many times does anyone actually buy new garage doors? In Grand Forks, a lot apparently…
Hugo’s Family Marketplace:
A grilled steak is the dominant visual as Hugo’s meat department is somehow analogous to an “art supply department…with sharper knives.” Who writes this stuff?
If I lived across the street from the Minnkota window ad guy I’d have probably called the cops on him for his dancing
Axe Throwing gets my first place vote
I have learned a place called the Grand Forks clinic apparently has the same ad music as my employer
Producing low-budget commercials often means using royalty-free, stock music (and sometimes stock imagery, too), which is probably why the music from the Grand Forks Clinic sounds so familiar as your employer’s music.
By the way, I contemplated including the Avera Health ad as annoying where Grandpa is lying on a gurney covered in wires after his heart attack, but I decided against it, because 1) Avera can afford those higher production values (less small-townish than those others) and 2) because those in the medical field, wherever they are, are true heroes right now…
What ND marketing genius came up with the name Krampade??
I’m not sure about the commercials, but am I the only one who thinks David Brisson always looks like he’s just taken a few hits from the bong? The intermissions have definitely been entertaining.
He is from Quebec, and his first language is French, so it takes a little while for him to spit it out. He does a good job, though…
Krampade is a great name, but the powder was disgusting. Then again, the salad bar at Hugo’s was vile. It had bar items like the free mini pretzels, salted peanuts, and the worst was those spicy crackers one eats just because they are there. Fishing place has 2 bedroom condos in the lodge starting at $219 per night. Their restaurant looked outstanding.
Speaking of outstanding, the girl in orange ball golf commercial certainly was that. Soft porn at its best.
Ah, yes, Orange whip golf trainer. It’s obviously not a Grand Forks-made commercial, and it also appeared later in the pod so we did not include it on our list.
That said, it’s the type of commercial that would have been commonplace 20-30 years ago, but given the advances made in the depiction of women since then, I am surprised to see that kind of thing today…
Never understood the joy of ice fishing. Heaters–shouldn’t they begin to make puddles in the ice? Would have to be a big heater to keep me warm in below zero temps.
Pretty weak attempt at covering up DUs failures. Let’s go after the commercials. Really, are guy that big of a douchebag
Did you mean to say that I, the author of the article, am a douchebag?
You may address me as ‘Lord Douchebag’, with a capital ‘D’.
You’re welcome.