Photo: In the near future Michigan Tech hockey may be taking inspiration from Julia Roberts

If Michigan Tech seems to skate with a certain desperation, it may be because, well, they are.

Michigan Tech is located Houghton, Michigan and is primarily known as a leading research institution focused on engineering. Historically, engineering has been a male dominated area of study and only 26.1% of the University’s population is made up of female students on campus for a 3:1 male to female ratio. Add frigid winters and nary a Bloomingdales within driving distance and there is a real diversity problem at this Upper Peninsula campus.  

A blue ribbon committee was convened to develop ideas to remedy the situation and help improve the ratio.

Rejected ideas included rent subsidies for retail nail salons and waiving all minor traffic violations for female students. This brought out the ire of some of the female committee members who felt these were unfair stereotypes. So, the committee went back to the drawing board and refined their recommendations.

Three recommendations have been sent to University President Glenn R. Mroz and the Board of Trustees according to The Daily Mining Gazette (yes, that is the name of their newspaper).

• The committee, made up of students, alums and administrators, watched the movie Steel Magnolias starring Julia Roberts to get a feel for what women want. Following the screening, the committee recommended that the school colors be changed to blush and bashful from the current ultra-masculine black & gold.

• Because Michigan Tech operates in the academic shadows of the University of Michigan, it is proposed that City of Houghton change its name to the more female friendly variation  ‘Anne Arbor’ to capture some of the brand power of Tech’s big brother university while presenting a softer image to women.

• Finally, the panel recommended redirecting a portion of student activity fees to import female students from RussianCupids.com to get more women on campus while adding a more international flavor.

In the meantime, this may explain why the Huskies tend to hold their sticks too tight, clutch and grab, and shoot too quickly.

While some of the recommendations are indeed controversial, President Mroz has promised to give them serious consideration.

The Pioneers take on Michigan Tech this Saturday in the first round of the NCAA Tournament at 11:00 am MT.

*Editors Note: We believe this is the first time Steel Magnolias has ever been referenced in a hockey article.