Hockey

Ralph Engelstad Arena redesign creates a ‘Lifestyle Destination’

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The University of North Dakota’s Ralph Engelstad Arena, which seats 11,643 and opened on October 5, 2001, is undergoing a major renovation for the 2019-2020 season.

Athletic Director Brian Faison said in a press release, “After extensive study, we have determined that our major competition for the consumer dollar is not other schools but Costco and Wal-Mart. Our goal is to make Ralph Englestad Arena a year-round lifestyle destination. ” Faison goes on to state that in Phase 1, the facility will be adding tire sales, a dentist office, roofing and siding services, a medical clinic, barber, pet grooming, showers and a laundry. “With 20-24  home games per year, this gives us 340 days of additional revenue generation”, said Faison.

Local fans are delighted with the idea of one-stop-shopping.

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Focus group participant Marv Stoops from Wishek said he would take his pet cat Fritz to pet grooming at ‘the Ralph’. But, Stoops added that “Fritzee hasn’t moved for three weeks.”
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Season ticket holder Wilma Sikeston from Kildeer, ND says she will try the stadium dental services. “Coach Berry’s power play scares me a lot more than a dentist does!”
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When asked, Norbert Root (pictured) said he would go to Englestad for a quote on siding for his downtown Grand Forks duplex. “It has been on my honey-do list for a while now.”
North Dakota Laundry
Faison’s plans include ‘The Dirty Bird Club’ which will allow Fighting Hawks fans to do their laundry on non-game days in the team locker room.

Phase 2 of the ‘lifestyle destination’ project will include diesel fuel with truck scales in the UND parking lot directly east of the UND Wellness Center. Faison said the study even considered a bikini car wash but “that would mean we would have to bring in girls from out of state”.

16 thoughts on “Ralph Engelstad Arena redesign creates a ‘Lifestyle Destination’”

  8. Not sure if I liked the Nutter Butter or Gwoz highlight better. Either way, both are amusing in their own way.

    Reply

  10. Not sure if I liked the Nutter Butter or Gwoz highlight better. Either way, both are amusing in their own way.

    Reply

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