10 Innocent Excuses for DU ‘Rioters’

You may have read about the post game celebration (tweet below). In the event of any institutional blowback, LetsGoDU is offering students, free of charge, 10 excuses they can use to explain their presence at this event.

  • Somebody slipped me a 12 pack.

  • GMO’s!

  • Thought there was someone under the burning mattress.

  • Limited time special on pad se-lew at the Pho Saigon Star restaurant.

  • Closest intersection on my way to library.

  • Sure, he/she might ‘look like me’ but I was so drunk – I couldn’t stand after the game.

  • Tired of seeing Boone on TV – “We had to take a stand!”

  • Looks like Rockies fans to me – They finally beat Clayton Kershaw!

  • Trying desperately to stop Apple from getting rid of the headphone jack.

  • Chance for Divest DU to test their new cold-fusion super mattress collider to provide clean energy for the campus and the world.

3 thoughts on “10 Innocent Excuses for DU ‘Rioters’”

  1. 11. Testing to see if Tempur-Pedic mattresses would ignite for a science class experiment

    12. Thought there was a Black Lives Matter Rally on University & Evans and wanted to show support

    13. Heard Mustard’s Last Stand was hosting a free student Weenie Roast Promotion

    14. Concerned that the Homeless around DU were cold, so brought supplies to keep the fires going

    15. Wanted to see if Denver Cops would break out the Billy Clubs for a Sociology Class experiment and had cell phone cameras at the ready

    16. Thought it was a DU Divest Climate Change Rally against combustible engine automobiles

    17. Wanted to teach CC students how to Riot because its been 60 years since they won a National Championship

    18. Wanted to assist administration by burning all Boone related T-Shirts, signs & posters around campus

    19. Never thought Cameras would expose us, since all cameras on campus are directed towards the Free Speech Wall.

    20. Fuck You. We just won a Natty. Deal with it.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Actually, the Clarion did have Sasha there for the weekend. She advised that the Clarion is going to move to a format that allows for more timely reporting on breaking news. But, apparently not moved to that yet.


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