Not everyone has the time or money to travel to Boston for the Frozen Four. So. we wanted to give you tips so you can act like you are there before you saddle up to your TV (ESPN 2) to watch the semifinal game or go to watch parties at Stadium Inn, The Pioneer, Campus Lounge, and the Cherry Cricket or around the country.
- Drive around your city and ‘bang left’ – a dangerous sharp left turn into oncoming traffic at the exact second the traffic light turns green.
- Select a random prep school from your hometown along with any Ivy League school. Over the next several days, be sure to mention your prep school and your ‘Ivy’ school.
- Go to your local Dunkin Donuts (BTW, the City of Boston has 58 of them) and order a regular coffee. Then, yell at the cashier after you sip from your cup, “Damn it! Regular means sugar and cream!”
- Tweet around the clock at the Hobey Baker Award committee. How is it possible that UMass-Amherst’s Bobby Trivigno is not a Hobey Hat Trick Finalist?
- The Red Sox are playing the Yankees the same day as the Frozen Four. Complain incessantly all week about the Yankees and New York City – even though no one else cares.
- Tell everyone within earshot that this week is amateur hour -The Beanpot Tournament is way bigger than any Frozen Four.
- Constantly use ‘wicked’ as an adjective, not a verb. That David Carle is wicked smart (replace the ‘r’ with ‘h’ in smart).
- Pull into a drive-through at a fast-food joint and order a burger and a frappe (milkshake). At the initial silence as the employee tries to figure out what a ‘frappe’ is, yell ‘Southie’, bang your horn and peel recklessly out of the drive-thru.
- Strike up a casual conversation at the grocery store checkout line. “Is (Patriots QB) Mac Jones really better than Jarrett Stidham?” As their eyes glaze over, conduct an in-depth review of each players’ mechanics, salary and upside. Make trailing customers wait while doing so.