10 Reasons Why DU Students Burned Couches Saturday Night

Couches appear to have been the preferred fuel source, outside of beer, for DU students following Saturday’s hockey championship win. Here are the top reasons why:

University of Denver students burn couch and block University Blvd after hockey team wins national championship from PublicFreakout

  • Simple misunderstanding when someone called Barry Melrose a ‘flaming grouch’.
  • “Hey, we did it last time.”
  • Why wait for James C. Kennedy mountain campus campfires?
  • LSU already did cars.
  • A student failed a bet to name three words for ‘couch’. (i.e. davenport, divan, settee, sofa, banquette, ottoman, chesterfield, squab). He lost and had to burn his.
  • Ideal chance to apply for carbon offset credits from recent campus solar installations.
  • Stop unwelcome freeloaders from using the living room as a flophouse.
  • The Will Smith slap provided social media cover for fiery student stunts.
  • Downing Safeway had a special on marshmallows
  • Fake news – Never Happened!

2 thoughts on “10 Reasons Why DU Students Burned Couches Saturday Night”

  1. No excuse to fail to name squab or chesterfield…totally deserved to burn the couch.

    Actually, weren’t Squab and Chesterfield the beer loving supreme court justice’s (Cavanaugh) best buddies in high school?

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