Top 10 Reasons Couch Fires are All the Rage at DU

The tradition continued Saturday night as couches around the University and University Park neighborhoods met a cruel fate on the DU campus. Students were fueled by beer and a heady hockey championship win. As local custom would have it, IKEA, Henredon, and Floyd sofas met a fiery end. All that is left are memories, ashes, and a throbbing headache.

Here are our Top 10 reasons couches were torched on the DU campus following the Pioneers’ NCAA record 10th National Championship win.

  • Large item trash pickup service is not available until next month.
  • Everyone digs firefighters in uniforms
  • Chance to incinerate mystery couch stains deposited by a former roommate.
  • Students pretended the couches were ESPN Frozen Four broadcaster and BU alum Colby Cohen.
  • Inhaling flaming couch foam is cheaper than buying a hookah bowl at Basha Social Lounge.
  • Excellent TikTok content.
  • A perfect compliment to Travis Scott’s hit song Meltdown.
  • Resolve bedbug infestation after study abroad in Budapest.
  • Spontaneous combustion after Matt Davis’ sprawling super save.
  • Considerably safer than drinking and going to the 16th Street Mall on a Saturday night.

Top photo courtesy of Denverite/Kevin J. Beaty

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