After watching a few weeks of DU games in the NCHC “pod,” we’ve been subjected to hundreds of repetitive, small-city Grand Forks, North Dakota-based TV commercials. The reason for this is that Dakota-based Midco Sports Network is producing the NCHC.tv-wide production, fueled by money from North Dakota advertisers, where UND hockey is the state’s largest athletic attraction. To our more citified eyes and ears, there are seven of them that, in heavy rotation, have become proverbial nails on a chalkboard to our urban sensibilities…
Home of Economy (where your dollar buys moooooooooooooore):
“Honey, I am going to need my Carhartts,” the man says, getting into his snowplow-equipped pickup, then digging his teenage daughter’s car out with a shovel, and then crawling under the car with his trusty winch, after which he tows the car out of a prairie snowdrift with his truck. Only in the Dakotas, where “battling the elements is just part of the job.” Heroic, certainly. That said, many Pio fans worked hard enough in college so that we do not need to own any Carhartts, nor crawl under cars, through snowdrifts, with winches…
Woodland Resort on Devils Lake:
“2, 4, or 6-man ice fishing houses for rent.’ Nothing like sitting in a small hut over an ice hole on a below-zero frozen lake waiting for fish to bite. I’ve heard that ice fishing in huts was invented to accentuate day-drinking in the Upper Midwest, but seriously, isn’t it easier to day-drink in your own home…with less risk of hypothermia?
Northern AIR Family Fun Center:
For the latest in Nordic fun, the Northern Air Family Fun Center offers “axe throwing, with beer and wine available!” What could go wrong? At least the commercial says the “axe throwing arena” is “away from kids’ activities…” Oh my God!
Nothing says ‘Let’s sell some windows’ like a coffee table-dancing, poorly lip-synching Dakota country hipster with an unusual haircut, singing into his golf club, supposedly extolling the virtues of vinyl, as the source of better music and better windows. Hope sales are up in West Fargo, guys…
This old man goalie ultra-chugging his water is bound to make you squirmy, especially when he puts the Grand Forks-made Krampade powder in his bottle…We cramp-up just watching it! In Krampade’s defense, they did introduce two other commercials to the rotation by the end of the Pod, but this one will be forever stuck in our collective psyche.
PS Garage Doors:
Is there anything more exciting than visiting a brand new garage door showroom? Not in Grand Forks, apparently, “since 1974!” And only “one block from the (I-29) Interstate!” How many times does anyone actually buy new garage doors? In Grand Forks, a lot apparently…
Hugo’s Family Marketplace:
A grilled steak is the dominant visual as Hugo’s meat department is somehow analogous to an “art supply department…with sharper knives.” Who writes this stuff?