Category Archives: Satire

New Ice Arena Provides CC an Opportunity to Bridge Local Divide

According to the Colorado College student newspaper The Catalyst, the student government has agreed to a resolution to bridge the growing divide between the townsfolk and the college.

Tensions were exacerbated when the college broke ground on a new on-campus ice arena which halved the capacity of the old city Broadmoor World Arena arena – leaving locals, literally, out in the cold. Continue reading New Ice Arena Provides CC an Opportunity to Bridge Local Divide

CC’s Robson Arena Groundbreaking Postponed

A scheduled groundbreaking ceremony for a new, Colorado College on-campus hockey arena, Robson Arena, was postponed indefinitely Saturday afternoon when outgoing Colorado College President Jill Tiefenthaler’s missing 2018 Range Rover was discovered in the construction site. Tiefenthaler, who was recently named the new CEO of National Geographic Society in January of 2020, was set to leave Colorado College in August of 2020, but obviously, her map-reading skills still need some work or the Delta House Chapter has been reactivated. Continue reading CC’s Robson Arena Groundbreaking Postponed

New North Dakota Scoreboard Displaces Duo

You may have heard about the new massive scoreboard at the University of North Dakota’s Ralph Englestad Arena. However, the change has caused some unintended consequences.

The old scoreboard was operated by Raymond Schmidt and Dewey Olson. Both men scaled the 65-foot ladder two hours before each game and manually inserted score, time outs and shots-on-goal for the Fighting Hawks. Continue reading New North Dakota Scoreboard Displaces Duo

UMass-Amherst Seeks Comfort Following Last Season’s NCAA Championship Loss

These days, many universities are teeming with emotional support animals. The University of Massachusetts-Amherst leads the pack. According to a recent article, at the University of Massachusetts – Amherst, emotional support animals skyrocketed from five in the fall of 2015 to 118 two years later before dipping to the current 83. Among the Minutemen menagerie in that time are “Miniature pig, bearded dragons, geckos, rats, and birds,” according to university spokeswoman Mary Dettloff. Continue reading UMass-Amherst Seeks Comfort Following Last Season’s NCAA Championship Loss