Category Archives: Satire

Top 10 Things to do Without Denver in the NCAA Men’s Hockey Tournament

10. Play the UMass-Amherst Drinking Game. Invite friends over and purchase a case of beer and shot glasses. Whenever the announcers say, “UMass” the first person to yell  ‘Amherst’ does not have to drink while the rest of the room takes a shot. Everybody drinks if the announcers say, ‘flagship’. Continue reading Top 10 Things to do Without Denver in the NCAA Men’s Hockey Tournament

DU vs UND: When Perception and Reality Collide

When head coach Dave Hakstol left North Dakota to lead the Philadelphia Flyers, a cleaner version of hockey was introduced by his replacement, Brad Berry. But, in some ways, the Fighting Hawks have returned to their old tricks under Berry with a slash here, a boarding there, an extra shove, and a trip to lead the NCHC in penalties with 248 total minutes spent in the sin bin. Denver sits in sixth place with 156 minutes in the box. In comparison, UND’s top five offenders have spent 131 minutes in the box, double Denver’s total of 66. Continue reading DU vs UND: When Perception and Reality Collide

Which North Dakota Commercial is Most Annoying?

After watching a few weeks of DU games in the NCHC “pod,” we’ve been subjected to hundreds of repetitive, small-city Grand Forks, North Dakota-based TV commercials.  The reason for this is that Dakota-based Midco Sports Network is producing the NCHC.tv-wide production, fueled by money from North Dakota advertisers, where UND hockey is the state’s largest athletic attraction.  To our more citified eyes and ears, there are seven of them that, in heavy rotation, have become proverbial nails on a chalkboard to our urban sensibilities… Continue reading Which North Dakota Commercial is Most Annoying?

North Dakota Navigates the Omaha Pod

“Frankly, we got our wires crossed”, said #1 North Dakota’s head hockey coach Brad Berry. “When the NCHC recommended a ‘pod’ for visiting teams,  we misunderstood the plan.”

The Fighting Hawks spent their first three nights 23 miles west of the UNO campus in storage pods before relocating to more modern accommodations in Omaha, close to Baxter Arena.

“We are used to no running water and a lack of electricity but poor cell reception and internet access were the biggest challenges.” said senior captain Jordan Kawaguchi.

The Fighting Hawks made the best of a difficult situation by building a corn maze, digging a latrine, and collecting firewood to warm their unheated containers.

Puck drop is 6:30 pm MT tonight at Baxter Arena, Omaha, Nebraska.