LetsGoDU has released its 18th annual hockey Super-Poll™ for the 2022-23 season. A host of statistics are fed into the supercomputer at Goddard Computing Center in Houston. The program runs ten thousand Monte Carlo simulations and places the Pioneers in their rightful place and Colorado College in the cellar. The results are then tabulated by Deloitte, hermetically sealed, and sent to Denver via Brinks truck to reveal the results. For the eighteenth consecutive season, DU claims the top spot.
1. Denver – Repeating championships is tough but expect Denver to hoist the Natty in Tampa in April. The Pioneers are nearly invincible in states that border the Atlantic Ocean and will make up for 2016’s disappointment.
2. Minnesota – Only the Mall of America roller coaster is more up and down than the erratic Gophers.
3. North Dakota – If fingers on a chalkboard represented a team, the Fighting Hawks and their fans would be top of the class. They’ll make noise but come up short, again.
4. Notre Dame – If over-inflated reputations counted, the Irish should be reserving rooms in Tampa now. In keeping with that theme, we placed the Irish 4th, even though the Super-Poll placed them in 8th slot.
5. Harvard – No athletic scholarships at Harvard? Right.
6. Northeastern – While the Huskies fall short, they are the best directional university in the Top 10!
7. Quinnipiac – Better at polling than hockey, a title by the Bobcats would be bigger than Dewey over Truman.
8. Michigan – The NHL stars are gone and Coach Mel Pearson was finally shown the door. The Wolverines make a better fur coat than a contender this season.
9. UMass-Amherst – Richard Gere went here. How come their mascot is not a Gerbil? (Do the research)
10. UConn – Damien Goddard would have graduated in three years with high honors if he were a Husky.
Last: #60 Colorado College – 2022 is the year of the Tiger in China. In Colorado Springs, not so much.
LetsGoDU releases this poll for all media outlets to use as they see fit.
Photo courtesy of Deloitte Accounting Services. Brinks makes Super-Poll™ delivery to the Ritchie Center.