New Ice Arena Provides CC an Opportunity to Bridge Local Divide

According to the Colorado College student newspaper The Catalyst, the student government has agreed to a resolution to bridge the growing divide between the townsfolk and the college.

Tensions were exacerbated when the college broke ground on a new on-campus ice arena which halved the capacity of the old city Broadmoor World Arena arena – leaving locals, literally, out in the cold.

“Let it be resolved that local residents no longer be called cutters, townies, Cretans, or unwashed masses.” said the unanimously approved resolution.

The approved document went on to propose several events to get Colorado Springs locals on campus.

One seminar entitled, “look mom, no hands” involves a class in how to properly use silverware, get place settings right every time and the use and placement of the most misunderstood utensil – the salad fork.”

Image result for proper place setting
Uniform table settings help establish a more civil society and a common dining experience for students and locals alike according to the resolution’s action plan.

A lunch-and-learn event called, “We are in this together!” will target local blue-collar workers. The course description reads, “A CC education may be beyond your reach but even ‘the trades’ can benefit from reiki massage, Pilates and kettlebell.”

The students are firming up final details to coincide with new arena construction.

DU plays CC this upcoming weekend for the Gold Pan. Denver just needs a single win or tie during the two-game set to regain the Gold Pan.

6 thoughts on “New Ice Arena Provides CC an Opportunity to Bridge Local Divide”

  1. When I read this article I had to check the date to see if it was April 1st.
    If they really want to extend across the bridge, I think they could find a better way than showing us, the “great unwashed” how to utilize utensils for a fancy meal that they think we can’t afford. Keep being elitist CC.
    Isolate yourselves even further in your on-campus arena. We, the riff-raff, will get along fine without you.

  2. Fascinating response, Anon. If you get a call from a stranger to wire money to Nigeria, please hang up.

  3. I’m very interested in the “look mom, no hands” seminar. I always get my seafood fork and dessert fork mixed up. Additionally, are the locations of my champagne flute and my post-meal cognac interchangeable?? Simple minds need to know…..

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